Yes, and if you haven’t read about it or heard goss that doesn’t sound quite right, our last three years of extremely hard work ended up in a strange, strange place weirder than Bizarro World.

Unfortunately, the weirdness didn’t want to stay put on Bizarro World, so we made a VCAT application and parked it there for much smarter legal people to figure out.

While we’re on this somewhat odd journey, we’ve realised we require extra beer money. See below for a subtle tip on how you can help top up our beer money to assist us getting through this thirsty testing time.

Subtle hint: Donations contributing towards copious amounts of Mountain Goat Steam Ale are greatly appreciated

Bean time! >

Breaking the six-month blogging hiatus, more out of boredom than real need, here’s a few morsels of information,

The Human Powered Cafe is only a week or so away from serving our first coffees.

Huzzah! It’s been a hard slog since November since Bill, Steve, Joel & co. got the keys to High Street. We’ve seriously got to do a information night on “How to start your own bicycle shop/cafe complex in  Thornbury. From scratch”.

The presentation will possibly include repetitively filling huge skips, dismantling massive air-conditioning units, removing false ceilings, etching floors, painting floors, painting walls, painting walls again, removing copious amounts of excess crap, advanced carpentry, building your own 70-seat capacity grease-trap-come-plunge-pool, continuous vacuuming and dealing with tradies. Amongst other joys.

We’re up to the relatively soft-drapes-and-furnishings phase now, so one chore I’ve have presently to print stuff and make it all look arty, inner north and appealing to bicycle/non-bicycle people.

I mentioned boredom in the opening sentence, that comes from being stuck in pyjamas this week  fiddling with tweetdeck as diversional therapy to avoid hut fever whilst suffering from possible sheeple flu. It’s all Tram Route 86′s fault that the inner north is the epicentre of H1N1, we’re all had enough of it, wish you get better and all that. Oink!

And if you haven’t been informed yet, Yarra Bicycle Users Group Radio has been podcasting on 3CR since March.

Check our website for all the whistles and bells, it’s another one of my online projects that’s been fiddled & finessed with and now requires a WP 2.8 update.

My apologies for this fragmented blogging attempt, as there’s a bloke next door attempting to impersonate CW Stoneking and it’s bloody distracting.

Looking for recent Melbourne cyclist issues in the mainstream meedya? Read my dispatches about Laura Norder either here, here, here or attempt to plow through the frightful amount of ephemeral thoughts I publish on stalkbook.

More soon.

As management now seems to be spending more time on twitter, stalkbook and Melbourne Cyclist, here’s two feeds to what, hypothetically, we’re up to.

Possibly.

Eyes right for the twitter feed.

See below – the space appeared like this a fortnight ago for the Human Powered Cycles opening par-tee. That is, if you’re standing in the opposite corner of the image above and obviously not standing on a ladder.

Presently it’s got a newly painted charcoal-grey floor and my back still hurts slightly from painting it on Sunday and many lovely bikes either to be picked up from repairs, courtesy bikes and those sexy Gazelles.

Have I managed to mention yet that The Bloke (above)  is opening a cafe in the large adjacent space next to HPC? If not, you’ve been told now!

Current ETA for your Macchiato, Ristretto and Flat White orders should be in January 2009. Apparently I’m going to be a trainee barista. At some point in time. Could prove interesting to say the least, as I’ve always shown more promise as an amateur Barmaid.

And as Mae once said …..

Fig A: This large space already looks rather different. It will look even nicer when we remove the archaeological levels of sawdust.

We’re rather busy up here on Beer Can Hill. The Bloke is hard at work organising and planning his contribution to the new Human Powered Consortium just up the road. Needless to say, I just love the idea of having a 2-group coffee machine loitering about the place,  just it ain’t plumbed in as of yet.

Did I mention that YarraBUG Radio is finally on air and spreading little sparkles of bicycle lurve and mirth across the airwaves of Melbourne? I’m on now and again, so listen for the one who sounds like Minnie Mouse with a strine.

And I think this recent email is from  agents acting for those troublesome Somali pirates:

I have a project I want you to run with us. It involves exportation of 100,000 barrels of crude oil daily from Kirkuk, Iraq. If you are interested, email me. Mr. Yan.

Am I reading too much into that?

In less happy news, the Melbourne City Council has fallen back on its so-called “pledge” to move buses from Swanston Street in the wake of Carolyn Rawlins tragic death in September. Todays Age article reads like a rather pathetic example of mixed messages, ulterior motives and plain ol’ convenient expediency.

So if you haven’t realised as of yet, those coaches will not be moved by Monday 24 November, but instead by, hopefully, whenever, maybe, hold your mouth the right way …………. March 2009.

Which proves if you’re not standing for re-election, it seems that a outgoing incumbent can promise any old shite to keep the plebs happy. However I don’t believe the plebs are going to be very happy or accept the umpires decision on such a  poorly and insensitively managed process.

(Note: this is an illustration only. God does not kill kittens. I’ve asked Her and She said She’d never do such a thing)

As my real blog’s login was slightly screwed up, here’s a rough outline of a Theory x-posted to Melb Cyclist that’s been ruminating in my mind for a little while.

The Theory: The Real Reason Why Some Bicycle Riders Run Red Lights

The reason why some cyclists run red lights has little or practically nothing to do with the individuals moral fiber, intellectual ability or capacity to distinguish between basic concepts of right and wrong.

The act of cycling requires physical effort to keep momentum, starting and stopping requires more so.

Driving a car requires a certain skill base, but not fitness. To accelerate a vehicle mostly requires putting the foot down on the accelerator pedal.

Traffic signals and road management systems are designed with that fact in mind: a total emphasis upon petrol-powered transport, not human powered mobility.

Many cyclists prefer to keep a steady momentum and in all likelihood, don’t even consider red lights as something they should seriously pay attention to.

Put simply, some cyclists (like some car drivers and many humans in general) behave like automatons with little regard to all the “moral crises” generated about red light breaking lycra lizards and black-clad inner city trendies that regularly pop up in the more excitable sections of mainstream media.

Another point; the actual issue probably isn’t about simplistically pigeon-holing people via their mode of transport at all. It’s more to do with how people interact with technology. Some people get it, some people avoid it, some people can’t be stuffed and some people shouldn’t ever be allowed on the roads, regardless of transport mode choice. But lets not delve off into subtexts about law & order issues right now …

Although there’s no excuse for being ignorant about common sense, responsibility, safety issues and the road rules, but the conflict that (to me) that is consistently ignored is expecting human powered mobility to be compliant to automated traffic signals that are most of the time, were never designed to accommodate their requirements.

Not forgetting, traffic engineers & advocates are now looking at different traffic signalling, such as advanced starts, bike lanterns (City of Yarra) and awareness raising infrastructure, such as the Green Wave (see below), although more R&D is required for this to be cost-effective for mass implementation.

But I’ d be far from the first to admit that a Nice Cup of Calm the Fuck Down wouldn’t go astray either, whenever the topic is raised.