Hang on to your hats kids, reports are coming in that Sprocket Man has made a fleeing appearance in our national capital!

Mystery cyclist saves man’s life
A 70-year-old man who collapsed in the centre of Canberra wants to personally thank the anonymous good Samaritan who helped save his life. The passer-by, who was dressed in cycling attire and wearing a helmet, performed crucial CPR on Joe Massingham before an ambulance crew arrived.

Mr Massingham, a father-of-three, married his long term partner just weeks before his collapse in Civic on July 16. He thanked those who had helped him, including visiting Victorian firefighter Michael Briant and the anonymous cyclist. “I am very grateful for their help and would like to thank them from the bottom of my heart,” Mr Massingham said.

Biff! Pow! Splatt! Sock! Whamm! Take that and that, you nasty meedya stereotypes and caricatures!

“In particular I would really like to meet the person who performed CPR prior to the ACT Ambulance Intensive Care Paramedics (ICP’s) arrival because his actions potentially saved my life.” The ACT Ambulance Service said it wanted to publicly thank Mr Briant and the second man and present them with letters of commendation.

Clank! ooooff Whack! Crash! eee-yow Splatt! A big haymaker in the glass jaw to those petty News Limited hacks – people who decide to ride bicycles aren’t all rogue lycra-wearing scofflaws!

“Joe’s survival is testament to the benefits of life-saving CPR with advanced pre-hospital care.” said director of the ACT Ambulance Service David Dutton. “The ACT ambulance service would like to give special thanks to the people who had gathered to watch this real live drama unfold for their support, as the two good Samaritans and the ICP’s where applauded by the crowd as they left the scene.”

Huzzah for Sprocket Man! Ride forth with pride, Mystery Canberra Cyclist!